OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
