dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
