Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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