whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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