my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
