they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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