I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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