im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
