GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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