Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
