I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
