I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
