Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
