There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
