I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
