And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
God, I missed his penis.
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