cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
