She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so let's talk penis.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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