Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
