He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
