I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My breath smells like gin and sadness
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
