PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just invented taco cereal.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
