Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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