You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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