I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just pee around me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
