I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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