4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
