So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
