i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
