I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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