i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
