Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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