i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
