That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Still dying that you shit outside
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
