it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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