the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
