i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
