i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
