Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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