I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
