Are we in a gay sports bar?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
