FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
