When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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