Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
