Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My ass is underappreciated
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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