TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
