dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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