And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
