True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
