i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
