It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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