Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
